Now, it’s my children’s birthday parties.

I’m early on the life phase of birthday party planning responsibilities, meaning I’ve only done a few, having an almost-3 year old and a just-turned 1 year old. But, being the over-achiever planner and organizer that I am, I’ve already gone overboard, as evidenced by my son’s 2-yr old party last year. A few months before his birthday, I hadn’t known more than a handful of toddlers. But, at 18 months we started him in a pre-school, and I started getting more involved in my neighborhood and other activities. So, all of the sudden his circle of friends ballooned, and our guest list topped 25 2-year olds.

We filled The Little Gym’s party room to the brink between kids, parents, pizza, and cake. We gave out personalized (with a paint marker and my own hand) yellow plastic hard hats filled with construction-themed goodies and wrapped up in cellophane with a caution tape bow to all the kids. Jack got oodles of gifts that relieved Jim and I of toy-buying for several months as he had more than he could possibly play with. Everyone had a good time (I think and hope), and we have some great memories and a wonderful scrapbook to show for it (OK, the scrapbook needs a little work still, but it’s close!).

But now as I contemplate this year’s party, I have to ask myself how I top last year’s.

As one Mom from our Moms Out Loud community wrote in this week:

“The best advice I can give is DON’T OVER DO IT. Especially at age 3, you’re child is very likely to remember this birthday when he hasn’t remembered the ones before. So, if you do a huge, expensive party, you’ll have a hard time in future years surpassing the last party.”

So, with this advice, other tips from Moms who’ve written in, and my own lessons and research for birthday party ideas, here are some essential planning tips I’m passing on to you. I’ve organized it into major sections: Invitees, Invitations, Theme, Party Ideas for Your Home, Party Facility Ideas, The Cake, Party Favors, Gifts, Thank You Notes.

Invitees:

The first question in your planning process is going to be who to invite? I’ve read that it’s recommended to have no more friends than your kid is old in age (meaning for a 1 year old’s party, have 1 friend, 2 for a 2-yr old, etc.).

I’ve decided that person giving that advice doesn’t live in the North Texas suburban area.

Or, at least, doesn’t know any of my friends, or my friends’ friends.

Because while I know lots of people who keep their 1-year old’s celebration a family affair, by age 2 and certainly by age 3, the majority of people I know invite more kids than the child’s age. Way more. Orders of magnitude more. Ultimately, the decision for how many children to invite will be limited to the number of children your pocketbook will stretch to accommodate and how many the birthday facility can hold.

And the answer to the ultimate question: Do I need to invite my child’s entire class? I wish I could tell you. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on how many – or if any – to invite. My personal recommendation is to gauge it on the friendships you want to make and those you want your child to make. If you have a gaggle of neighborhood kids or church friends running around playing and keeping your child active and social, you may not need to invite many (or any) of the school class. However, if this is your child’s main source of social connections (and therefore likely your source of parental connections), I’d suggest being more inclusive. (But, hey, I’m also a Mom who’s starting a website meant to connect Moms, so my desire for connections may be a little on the far end of the spectrum.)

Invitations:

Do you need to send a formal invitation? I say: “No.” I am a big fan of www.evite.com, because it allows you to keep track of who you’ve invited, who’s coming, and creates a way for you to send messages out to the invitees as a group if details change regarding the event (e.g., reminders to rsvp, bad weather plans, reschedule needs, etc.). Also, while I don’t have physical address for some of the people I want to invite, I do have email addresses for everyone. They have great templates where all you need to do is fill in the details and send it out. Done. Oh, and did I mention FREE?

For those traditionalists (and/or scrapbookers) among us, formal invitations are nice and can be a sweet momento of the event. As a guest, I have found them to be very helpful to remember details about the party, because I tuck them into the handy pocket of the WORLD’S BEST Mom Calendar (MORE TIME MOMS Family Organizer 2008 Pocket Wall Calendar for just $14.99 on Calendars.com and has truly 16 months of calendar pages) and pull them out to make sure I have the info correct about the event. (Of course, this hasn’t prevented me from showing up to a birthday party a DAY late – sorry, Wendy, but having a printed version has provided helpful directions at times.)

The cutest one I have ever received was one that was handmade, possibly even with the help of the birthday child (sorry, Cristen, if you did these entirely alone). It was on plain red cardstock, with barn animal stickers on the front and a bow made of twine. The event was a petting zoo party on a farm that friends had recently purchased and caught the spirit of the party – and probably helped get a birthday girl very excited about having her friends over!

Another great idea that was submitted by one of our for a printed invitation is to use one of the photo sites (personal favorite is Shutterfly.) to create a picture-card for the party. These can be done for about $.99/card. As one Mom put it:

“You simply upload your digital pics and you can create all kinds of fun things. You can paint a poster board with “please come” or “We’ll have a roaring good time” (if you have a lion themed birthday party), etc… snap the picture of the child holding the poster and create a card. You can also do “thank you” at the same time and order cards in advance for the thank you notes. Especially at age 3, children can identify their friends by their pictures (and like most Mom’s – invitations go on the fridge so you don’t forget) and then the child invited gets excited about going to their friend’s party.”

Themes:

My only advice here….follow your child’s lead. If they are a super-intense Dora or Diego fan, you may consider those themes. Again, a personal bias: choose something that lends itself to a little creativity. If you do a character theme, you are likely going to have a lot of pre-packaged party goods to choose from which will provide a lot of convenience for you in planning, although you will also possibly convey a “packaged” feel. I admire the Moms who can come up with unique ways to carry their birthday party theme through in many different ways using a variety of products – like the twine bow on the petting zoo/barnyard party invitations, or the bucket used as a party favor holder for a pool birthday party another friend did.

You could – gasp! – choose to go with no party theme, or at least go easy on the use of whatever character or subject you’ve chosen to highlight. For instance, it’s doubtful anyone will really notice if you use plain tableware versus a theme design. All kids and certainly most parents don’t care if the plate has a Batman on it – as long as it’s delivering a yummy piece of cake! To give you an idea of how much money you can save by choosing basic solids for tableware vs. a theme option, I checked Oriental Trading. Oriental Trading is the best source I’ve found for party goods, including tableware, decorations, party favors, etc. with the best pricing and selection. (But – just so you know – they are hit and miss on their scrapbooking supplies; I’ve bought great items from them and ones that aren’t so great.) A solid color dessert plate is $3.69 for 25, versus a Disney Princesses dessert plate which costs $2.99 for 8. That’s a savings of 65% - or almost 25 cents per plate. That may not sound like a lot, but when you consider savings on napkins, cups, and other party goods you might just pay for some of your party favors by going this route.

Other sites to look at for party goods are Celebrate Express and Birthday Direct, both of which offer a good balance of selection and price (and are where I bought the party favors for Jack’s party last year that I didn’t get from Oriental Trading). If you do choose to do a theme, you may want to check out Birthday in a Box, which offers exactly what the name implies — it allows you to purchase an entire theme pack for birthday parties (with a convenience premium in price, of course).

Party Place – Your Own Home:

Your own home. Yes, this sounds scary and a lot of work before and after. In fact, I only recommend it if you can have the majority of the party outside, if you have a smaller number of guests, or if you have an extremely high tolerance for noise, indoor running and jumping, and possible breakage of items. There are a few different ways you can do this:

Pool Party. If you are lucky enough to have a summer birthday child and a pool, you should take advantage of this. Trust me – I’m a Mom who does not have a pool. We love to play in yours!

Bounce House. For under $150, you can have a simple bounce house delivered to your home. This can entertain the kids for hours. There are also more elaborate bounce options you can rent – combo units (slide/bounce) and a new one I just found when doing Jack’s party planning called a 5-in-1 (2 bounce areas, climbing, sliding, obstacle course). Jump City is the vendor I’ve used several times in the past for various party’s; Lena is always reliable, on time, and very competitively priced.

Petting Zoo. There are a lot of ranges in price on this, but for around $200 you can get a very nice petting zoo at your home up to more depending on if you want bigger animals (like a llama or donkey) or to offer pony rides. Cathy’s Critters is a woman-run business based in Collin County (Princeton); she is also reliable and on-time. (Don’t freak out if she doesn’t call and confirm or return your call to confirm – she will be there. I’ve panicked 3 times and each time she’s been there right on schedule.) She and her daughters have done a great job every time I’ve used them (I know friends who have, too).

Scavenger Hunt. My neighbor did a cute pirate-themed scavenger hunt around the neighborhood for her son’s 5 yr party. The kids, dressed in pirate hats and eye patches, had a great time working in teams (with one adult supervising) to find all the hidden clues. This is an idea I plan to copy when my sons get older.

Trackless Train. Kids love to ride on things and why wouldn’t they when you check out the awesome train available from Adventure Railroad! This train can be rented and will come to your location to carry children and adults around a large parking lot.

“Traveling” Vendor. Many businesses will come to your home and put on your party. Abrakadoodle, for instance, will allow you to book a party and they bring everything you’ll need for your kids to make nice works of art. We even know a Mom who will come to your home to give your kids a tot-yoga class!

Party Place – Birthday Party Facility

I won’t begin to list all of the different party places you might consider for your party on this blog. (We will, however, have a directory of them on the website, www.MomsOutLoud.com, when it launches in October! With reviews from other Moms like you!) However, I will tell you some of my personal favorites based on personal experience and what other Moms have told me.

But before you start your booking process, you’ll need to decide how much you care about having a “private” party space. This took me by surprise when we first started going to parties. I had naively assumed that all the birthday party places were private. Nope. My suggestion is for little kids that will need adult supervision, go for the private party facilities, otherwise your guests and their parents will be so scattered around a big facility chasing the kids that you won’t get any adult interaction and your child won’t get as much friend interaction. (And, maybe it’s just me, but birthday parties are a great way to connect with the parent’s of your children’s friends, so you don’t want to miss out on that!) You’d also be surprised….some of the private party areas are not any more expensive than the ones that rent to 4 or more birthday party groups at the same time.

Here are some ideas for the North Texas suburban area:

• The Little Gym, My Gym, Kid Fit Sports, or one of the other gymnastics places. These are great options for little kids because the staff will take them through a mix of circle/group activities and independent exploration/play time. We have personally experienced the Plano (Preston/Spring Creek) Little Gym location and it was wonderful. Same for the My Gym location in Plano (Independence/Park).
• Pump It Up, Jr. We recently attended a 3 yr old’s birthday party here and both my sons had a wonderful time. The equipment is perfectly sized for a 3 yr old. Pump It Up is a great option for older kids, or for kids who are younger but around the same age so they aren’t intimidated by older kids when playing on bigger equipment. Both of these options give you private bouncing space and then move you to a private party room for pizza/cake. You feel a little like you’re playing musical chairs, but the kids have a blast.
• Adventure Kids Playcare. I planned a class party for my son’s pre-school party here and we had a great time. The kids kept themselves occupied in a contained area with a jungle gym, toys, basketball hoop area, etc. and the parents got caught up with some good chatting. It was actually a perfect venue for little kids if they are comfortable with each other and you want to be able to have some good socializing time with adults, too.
• The Dallas Zoo. This is what one Mom said: “The Dallas Zoo is a great place to have a party. You get 30 tickets for $265 with a private room for two hours. They provide the goodie bags and one animal encounter which you can choose between feeding the birds or a reptile encounter. The staff is great and the children’s section is wonderful. The best thing is that families can enjoy the day at the Zoo
  together after the party!”
• When your kids are a bit older and the need for a private party place diminishes because they can enjoy the facility with little adult supervision or – what joy this will be! – you can drop them off for the party, you may consider these options: Going Bonkers (an indoor jungle gym/arcade place), Gattitown, or Amazing Jake’s.
• If you have a little girl you are either familiar or soon will be with the princess/rock star/glitter fashion birthday party craze. Sweet & Sassy and Butterfly Princess Glamour offers a variety of birthday party options that will make your daughter and her friends feel like princesses!

These are just a few of the options in our area (again, our website will have a complete list ready for you Moms to review!).

The Cake:

This one is easy: Costco. $17.99 for a 1/2 sheet cake that serves 48. Yummy yummy yummy. The only downfall is they don’t have a great decoration selection (however, balloons go with everything, right?!?) It’s a great cake that you will actually eat leftovers of when the party’s over. And at that price, you can’t beat it.

Party Favors:

You think you’re doling out the cash, right? Wrong. Party favors are a necessity in the birthday party world, so don’t let them be a surprise expense. They actually should be figured into your budget, and may even impact how many kids you invite. If you figure $3 or so per child (though I’ve seen some goody bags that had to be more) multiplied by 20 kids, that’s a substantial expense.

While filling the bag with candy can lower the expense, here is one Mom’s plea:

“You can do little containers of play-dough, plastic lizards, and other little party favors along with candy – just don’t send kids home from the party with a bag full of only candy!”

A personal favorite that I love is when the goody “bag” is actually something that the child can use again – even better if it has their name on it. For example, at a pool party, we got a sand bucket with some sand toys and other goodies. We still use it in our own sandbox. At the petting zoo party, we got straw western hats for the boys filled with goodies – which they still wear today. It’s a great way for the kids to remember the parties and their friends.

Gift or No Gift?

A recent trend I’ve seen is parents specifying “no gift” for their children’s parties. I admire their conservatism and desire to shelter their kids from commercialism for as long as they can. However, I have to say I have not heeded such requests, though I have “snuck” the gift to the parents for opening at their discretion. My excuse? I like to have Jack (and soon, Luke) participate in the choosing and wrapping of the gifts, and writing of the cards, for their friends’ birthdays. I love to give gifts (and get them, of course) so I personally enjoy this part of the whole birthday party process. I think generosity is an important value to teach your children and believe the giving of gifts is a big part of that.

However, two caveats:

First: you can give a thoughtful gift without spending a lot. My sister’s advice had been to spend about $15/child on a gift, which I did until I became the starving entrepreneur and reduced our family to one income (plus a lot of savings out the door). Now, I spend more time thinking ahead about what the birthday child will enjoy and how to come up with something less expensive and creative to give to them. Crafts that you can make personalized with the child’s name are a great option (kids love things with their names on them!).

Second: consider donating some of the gifts your child receives to charity. I personally haven’t tried this, and actually don’t know anyone who has, but we’re going to try it for Jack’s 3rd birthday. We consistently go through closets and dressers, giving clothes away to charity (most, unfortunately are mine, as motherhood and the aging process have made some of my former clothes useless to me), so Jack is familiar with the idea. He’s even given some toys of his own up for charity at times. We’ll see how it goes when the toys are brand new and he hasn’t gotten to play with them yet!

Thank you’s

And, finally, when the party is over, the gifts unwrapped, the trash thrown out. . . there are thank you cards to write. It is an essential part of the entire birthday party cycle and good etiquette. A simple note is all you need to send. Want to personalize it even more? Get double prints of your party pictures and send one along as a momento of the party. Want to make sure your kids understand how important thank you’s are? Have them help with the cards. Crayon squiggles are OK (and kind of cute).

That’s it! Everything we heard about Birthday Parties from our Moms. Hope it’s helped some of you (like me) who are getting ready for a birthday party soon!

EveryOne’s A Star Premier Night

Wed, August 20, 2008

5pm – 9pm

200 Fitness Court, Coppell, TX

Contact Phone: 972.471.2345

This fun-filled, family-oriented event is designed to show off the new programs and excitement happening at the place where we grow stars, because, “EveryOne’s a Star at Everybody Fits.”
The event, “EveryOne’s A Star Premier” will highlight new programs, bigger stars and more ways to find the star within each child. From Hip Hop to Tumbling, Acting to Singing, find your hidden star within our walls. Whether you want to be on stage or just learn to drive to see the stars at the movies, we have it all at EveryBody Fits.
EveryBody Fits will be shining with new programs, classes, and talent. Come for activities and performances by all programs, including Texas Dreams Gymnastics, NTA Taekwondo, the dance studio, Texas Theatre Academy, Play for Sport Fitness, and Kid Fit, our new fitness and conditioning program designed just for kids.

Meet the US Gymnastic National Team and 2008 US Olympic Training Team member Chelsea Davis.

Find out more about Cathryn Sullivan’s Acting for Film which has nurtured such stars as Cody Linley (Hoot), Demi Lovato (Camp Rock), and Selena Gomez (Wizards of Waverly Place) – (all three just named as TV’s Next Teen Idols) – and Madison Pettis (Game Plan). Prospective and current students come from throughout the state and Dallas area.
There will be food, contests, prizes, karaoke, auditions, a photo booth and you might just see a couple of stars. The night will also kick off the Tyson Fitness Challenge, with proceeds benefiting the Children’s Miracle Network.

“I have seen the future – and it is Frisco!”

I thought, GREAT! Finally the North Dallas suburbs are getting some positive press from the hyper-critical Dallas denizens. Before getting excited, I should have paid more attention to the full caption, which was: “The Invisibles / I have seen the future – and it is Frisco.” To save you all the time of reading the full article, the author (quite wittily, by the way) argues that when they look for people to populate outer-space, they will come to Frisco, because these are the people who have no sense of place: “You will need a race of people who have been toughened up to life in Nowheresville. People whose idea of a meaningful landmark is Starbucks. People for whom an address is a code registered with Mail Boxes Etc. People from Frisco!”

There are many facts the author points out that I can’t argue with – yes, our neighborhoods tend to look a bit alike….yes, we have a lot of franchised retail places….yes, our physical environment can be a bit generic and mass-produced. There are even more Starbucks per capita in Frisco than in Seattle. (It’s true – I did the math.) Before I actually moved to Plano, I had sworn I would never move to Plano. OK, OK….so I was a bit hypocritical: I lived in Dallas – a place with no soul – and judged Plano as a place with no soul. Ha ha.

Then I had kids. Suddenly, convenience trumped trees.

So, Dallas Observer, while I agree with you that people in Frisco (and Plano, and Carrollton, and McKinney, and Allen, and Coppell, and Flower Mound, and Grapevine, and Southlake, and other Dallas suburbs) are just the sort you would want to count on to colonize new places due to our resilience and willpower, the problem is:

We Won’t Go, because you can’t beat what we’ve got here.

While our physical environment may not be the most naturally beautiful (although anyone who’s been to McKinney would disagree), we have the most amenities and conveniences around. Now that I’ve lived in Plano (your “suburban fringe, the nowhere of Dallas”) for three years, let me share with you just why I think the Dallas suburbs are the best things going.

1. Financially friendly.

The hard financial data agrees, you really can’t do better than those of us living in Texas. Our cost of living indexes at 92.7 to the national average (at 100), and while gas prices might be pinching our wallets, our economy is still healthier than most other parts of the country right now. Texas as a state was awarded 13 of the Top 100 Best Places to Live in Money Magazine’s 2008 List. 10 of those cities – all of them suburbs, by the way – were in the Dallas area: McKinney, Carrollton, Richardson, Allen, Denton, Euless, Lewisville, Frisco, Garland, Grand Prairie. That means the Dallas area alone has more Top 100 cities than any other STATE, since Minnesota and New Jersey were both behind Texas with 9 cities each on the list. My only complaint is that they should have included Plano on the list as well….surely an oversight since they included all the cities that border Plano – whoops, excluding Dallas.

2. The weather

OK, I am writing this on one of the hottest days of the year (102 degrees), yet still I put weather high on the list. Yes, it’s hot. That’s what pools are for. And, thankfully, they are plentiful up here in the ‘burbs, whether in your own backyard, a neighbor’s, in your community, or at any of the swank new parks & recs facilities we have, like the Tom Muehlenbeck Center in Plano. We average 232 days of sunshine a year! And winter? Well, that’s when you might have to pull out a jacket – but not very often.

3. Kid-friendly

The reason we moved to the ‘burbs in the first place – to have a family – turned out to be even more compelling than we had ever dreamed. We live in West Plano, and within 3 miles of my house, we have my children’s pediatrician, dentist, a hospital, 3 emergency clinics, their pre-school, Kiddin’ Around Playcare, the soft play area at Willow Bend Mall, The Little Gym, Young Chef’s Academy, numerous martial arts and dance studios, the Tom Muehlenbeck Center, Cool Cuts 4 Kids, and any shopping venue you could possibly want. When our kids get old enough, we’ll have their sports parks, exemplary public schools (or private, should we choose that route), and lots of bike -friendly streets to explore. And who wants to go see the Rangers when you’ve got the Frisco RoughRiders at Dr. Pepper Ballpark? And if that’s not enough to keep you busy, you can go to the FC Dallas soccer games at Pizza Hut Park.

4. The adult conveniences

When we moved north, we figured we’d have to give up the fun adult activities we’d enjoyed before kids. OK, those of you who know me….stop laughing. I have to ‘fess up, Jim and I are not the wild, outgoing types. (We did meet at the Inwood Lounge, but that was a total fluke.) But, if we were the night-life kinda people, we could find lots to do in the ‘burbs! The Shops at Legacy has some great bars (or so they seemed when we drove by and saw all the “pretty” people getting out of their cars), and restaurants abound. So do spas, nail salons and any number of places to get beautiful.

5. 20′ ceilings

We traded in the character of our Love Field-area redo, with its painted brick, shutters, wood floors, front porch, 50′ live oak tree, for …. a red brick box in Plano, that actually looks exactly like another red brick box down the street except my brick is a little maroon and theirs is a little pink. But – I have high ceilings, 3.5 baths, a master down, and a 3 car garage. My live oak is maybe 18′ high – but it will grow! And in the meantime, I can enjoy my high ceilings, big closets, and whirlpool tub.

6. Easy parking

Being a Mom means driving – a lot. So, I happen to really appreciate the big parking spaces that the new retail areas offer. Anyone who has tried to park a mini-van at Snider Plaza, Highland Park Village, or the Inwood Village knows that takes concentration beyond what most Moms can manage, especially when one kid is crying for a dropped sippy cup and another is kicking the back of your seat with his feet. Now I pull in with hardly a thought into the Costco, SuperTarget, or other parking lots. And Ikea even has family-designated parking! (Something more retailers should take note of, by the way.)

7. Easily accessible playdates and babysitters

We knew there would be a lot of kids in the ‘burbs (obviously), but had no idea how many. Maybe we got lucky, but on our street alone, we already know 3 other kids that will be in my older son’s grade in school. And another by-product of the public schools being so great is that we also have a lot of available babysitters, just in our neighborhood alone.

8. Historical downtowns are flourishing.

Anyone who has been to beautiful downtown McKinney knows it is a true gem of history and natural beauty, with restored buildings housing cute antique shops, boutiques, wineries, and restaurants. Downtown Grapevine is also a great place to explore, and Plano’s downtown is blossoming as well. Other downtown areas, like Old Town Lewisville and Carrollton have active groups working to preserve their historical landmarks. Even Frisco’s historical downtown area, which I will admit does not have as many historically significant buildings as some of the others, is in revitalization with passionate groups dedicated to preserving its charm.

9. Natural beauty is just a short drive away.

I am one of the lucky ones who can bike-ride to Arbor Hills Nature Preserve when I want some natural beauty. Other lucky ones in the Dallas suburbs might even be living within view of Grapevine Lake, Lake Lewisville, or Lake Ray Hubbard. While others of us may live in areas with more, how did the Observer phrase it?…”manufactured” beauty, many of these developments have landscaped their way to stunning – especially after the trees grow.

10. Friendships are waiting.

One of the wonderful things we’ve found about moving to the Dallas suburbs is that a lot of other neighbors are new to the area as well. We’ve made a lot of wonderful friends just in the two years we’ve been in Plano…only a handful of which have lived in the DFW area for more than a few years.

I’ve had friends who have moved to more established cities with less population growth that have had a hard time finding friends because friendships are already solidified, which sometimes makes it harder to become a part of the circle.

This picture is actually of my Bunco group – whom I LOVE! – and provides a testament to what great friendships can be developed in the ‘burbs.

So, Dallas Observer, I disagree that the suburbs are the “wasteland” you characterize them as. From my vantage point, they’re a great place to grow kids, friendships, and …. trees.

We’re blushing.

Our inexperience in the world of fall season sports was revealed when we chose the topic for last week: What’s the best way to set your kid up in fall sports? You seasoned “soccer Moms” out there must have thought – ha ha! You’re asking this question in JULY???? That’s a question to be asked in June – or May – or, by gosh, even April! Well, we have learned a LOT in a week about the ins and outs, and let’s just say this is a lot more complicated than when we were kids ourselves. Now we’re ready to share the best ideas back with our Mom community.

While the steps below are going to sound daunting even to the most social, organized, and outgoing of you, we do have some good news: the first time is the hardest. Once you find a sport, a league, and a team you are comfortable with, the sports organizations are great about keeping you up to speed on all the dates to remember, registration processes, etc. But the implication is clear: Make the first time count.

So, those of you who have kids turning 3 or 4 in the next year, pay attention. Or, if your kid (or you!) didn’t have fun in sports the last time you tried, maybe reconsider doing the following and trying again. Here’s your step by step approach to making the most of the season.

Step One: Decide which city league your child will participate in.

Some cities make it easy for you – e.g., Frisco will not allow any child that does not reside within its boundaries to play in its league. Others are open, like Plano, which for a small increase in fee allows any non-Plano ISD resident to sign up. You will most likely play in the league of the city where you live for convenience reasons, so check it first. Links to some of the most popular sites are below.

Step Two: Determine when your child can start playing.

Cities differ as to when they will allow children to begin playing. The earliest we saw in our exploration was Age 3 by Sept 1 (Plano, Flower Mound), but most leagues don’t start until Age 4 by July 31 (Frisco, Allen, McKinney, Grapevine/Southlake, Lewisville, Carrollton). And there are no exceptions made; all of the cities require a copy of a birth certificate when you sign up for the first time.

Step Three: Figure out what sport you want to play – whoops, we mean the one your child – wants to play.

Just like professional sports seasons have stretched to the point you can at different times of year find football, basketball, and hockey on TV on the same night, so have kids sports. Fall season sports no longer means soccer or football….it can mean t-ball/baseball, softball, volleyball, cheerleading, basketball, etc. This means you will likely need to decide between sports….unless your child has infinite energy and you have infinite time to shuttle him/her between sports practices, games, etc.

When choosing, keep in mind that the sport your child plays is going to be the sport you will be playing with your child for at least the next few months. This is why it makes a lot of sense to us (and other Moms that wrote in) to pick a sport you will enjoy playing with your child. Most cities make this easy early on and only offer certain options for younger kids, and some are more limited in their sports selections.

Step Four: Recruit your team.

Wait! What, you say?? Recruit your team? Isn’t the Sports Association supposed to do that for us? You may not like to hear this, ladies, but from we can tell, it’s true. Joining as a team (or at least as a partial team) with coach (see Step 5) is a key success factor for how well your child (and you) will enjoy the season. This is intuitive as well: by the time your child is old enough to sign up for a league, they have started actually playing with other kids (not just engaging in the toddler / early pre-school “parallel play”). If they are getting to see their friends during the week and on Saturday, they are more likely to want to play. And you already know the parents, so are more comfortable, too.

We had several comments from Moms that agree reinforced the importance of this:

“The first year my daughter played, we did the lottery. They said they would match us to other kids in our elementary school, but it didn’t end up that way for whatever reason. We sat out the next season and then the following year when she was in elementary school and we knew more people, we found a team that already existed and we joined with them. It was a lot more fun because she already knew the kids and we knew the parents.” (Monica)

“We did sign up with friends. I think you can put one or 2 people you would like to play with or a particular coach you would like to have.” (Susan)

Step Five: Recruit your coach.

Just as, if not more, important for your team experience is to have a coach that is aligned with your goals for the team. Hopefully, if you’ve created at least a partial team, you know some of the parents already and a coach will emerge from that pool to take on the responsibility. It’s probably a good idea to discuss goals first with your team-mates parents early on (e.g., how many practices a week? is it OK to miss practices? will everyone get to play?).

“The coach has a huge impact on the team experience. There is a lot of decisions left up to him (or her). Basically the schedule gets set early in the season by the sports association, but other than that, the coach picks practice days/times, who plays when, basically everything.” (Jennifer)

Step Six: Recruit a team mom.

Having a great team mom is really important. This is the person who will communicate about practices, game times, snack duty, etc. If you are organized and like to plan- or are married to the coach (according to one of our Moms) – this might be a job for you to take on.

“We had a team mom that was married to the coach of the team one year and it was the best. She knew everything that was going on and kept everyone up to speed via email. It really helped us plan around the practices and games.” (Elizabeth)

Step Seven: Sign Up Online.

Yet again, a great advantage of the internet: online sign ups which can make it easier on everyone.

“From my experience, it’s been a great advantage to find the forms online and have them filled out prior to showing up at registration (for T-ball, coach prep baseball and now soccer). Luckily, we play in the Aubrey Area Youth Sports Association and they are organized and online well in advance of each season. Each time, I’ve been in and out – no hassle!” (Ginny)

There you have it, ladies. The mysteries of fall season sports, solved for you by Moms Out Loud. Below are links to the major area sports associations, with the registration deadline for their fall Soccer sign ups (please check their web-sites for other sports). Have a great time!

Plano: Online registration began on June 11th and ends on August 15th.

Frisco: Online registration closed on June 19th. In person registration closes on July 25th. The waiting list opens on July 26th.

McKinney: Registration is currently closed, but the waiting list is open.

Allen: Online registration began on May 2nd and closes on July 30th.

Coppell: Mail-in registration is closed. Online and in person registration ends on August 5th.

Grapevine/Southlake: Registration closed on July 19th. Waiting list registration opened on July 20th.

Lewisville: U5-U10 late registration fee of $50 is applied after July 1st and after July 15th for U11-U19.

Carrollton: Registration closed on July 15th. Late online registration is available.

We spotted a fashionable woman wearing a sparkly pair of brown flip flops in the grocery section of Target. She told me that the cute shoes came from…Target! We marched our way to the shoe department and found that the flip flops come in brown, black, white, pink and blue and are just $6.99! (Pink, brown, and blue shown above. The colors are a little off because the pictures were taken with Leanne’s camera phone!) They are just sparkly enough to dress up a cute skirt but are simple enough to wear to the pool. These flop flops are not on the target.com website, but there were plenty of them at the Super Target in South Frisco and Plano. The brand is Xhilaration and they are simple, rubber flip flops with glitter on the straps.

Of course, purses are also very noticeable items – especially the ones Moms tend to carry based on all our “Mommy-needs”, so we had to pay attention to them and report back our favorite. As you would imagine, we noticed lots of beautiful bags, like Coach, Louis Vuitton, and other big-name brands…..but, really, do you want to carry around sippy cups and gold fish crackers in purses that cost that much? Not us. One mom that we met had found the perfect balance of fashion and reasonable function. Her beautiful bag caught our eye at Super Target and we heard “cha-ching” in our ears, especially when we saw that she had a matching wallet. After talking with her about it, we found that she purchased both at Sam Moon for less than $30 total. We also found out that this bag is made of vinyl, which she says wipes clean in a snap no matter what’s been spilled on it. We are sure that most savvy moms know all about Sam Moon, but for this steal it might be time to go before they’re gone!

Another amazing mom-product that we discovered this week was the Eddie Bauer 2-in-1 Harness Buddy. We saw Susan with her adorable 2-yr. old twins Haley and Wesley in a parking lot with their “walking buddies.” This backpack comes in several cute styles (bear, monkey, and dog) easily fits on your toddler with arm straps and two chest buckles (the pack can also be worn in the front of the child). The removable tail of the animal doubles as a leash that loops around an adult wrist. This is perfect for children who are growing impatient with strollers and carts, but have not yet mastered their impulses enough to get unlimited freedom in the mall or other stores. Susan has been using the walking buddies for about 6 months and credits them for helping her twins safely learn how to hold hands in parking lots and sidewalks. While she doesn’t use the harnesses as much anymore, she does keep them in her mini-van just in case, and says her twins are always happy to get their buddies out.

Marilee, of The Whimsical Stork (a great place to order custom gifts for baby AND mom) emailed in this fantastic diaper bag that looks great and keeps all of your mom-necessities organized. Celeta at ABK Couture makes these custom diaper bags out of Chinese brocade material on the outside, and cotton on the inside. Celeta designed the first bag for herself, and has now perfected it according to Marilee: while the fabric is elegant and fashionable, eight pockets on the inside make the bag functional. And at $85, it’s in line with some of the other high end bags on the market – plus you get to pick your own fabric.

While at the pool, we discovered this cute float for baby! The Swimways Frog Baby Swim Float is a great option to get your littlest one in the water this summer. It’s so cute, how could they resist? The original Baby Swim Float doesn’t look like a little frog, but it does provide some shade from the sun with a detachable canopy. These can both be purchased for less than $20 at Walmart or Target.

We all know how much kids like to have their names on every item they own. The cutest personalized items we’ve seen in a while are the “My Name” collection by John Hinde, which we saw at Learning Express this past week. These cute personalized cups, sippy cups and water bottles are great for your child to carry at the mall, playground, or just around the house. The outside of the cup is rubber and easy for little hands to hold. The bright colors and fun designs help younger children learn the letters in their name. These cute cups can be purchased at The Learning Express for between $7.99 – $9.99.

Finding the perfect stroller is a challenge. According to several moms at the soft play area at Willow Bend Mall, Maclaren is the only way to go. The Maclaren Volo is a light-weight umbrella stroller that can easily be maneuvered through tight corners, folded up one handed in 5 seconds (according to their website), all while being heavy duty and with a lifetime warranty! The Volo can be purchased at Target for $99.99. Maclaren also offers more substantial strollers including a twin side-by-side stroller in your choice of a variety of colors.

Also at the mall, we happily discovered that Pumpkin Patch has put ALL of their summer clothes on CLEARANCE and will begin bringing out their fall clothes this week. The summer clothes will be on sale until they sell out, so get there quick! (For those of you who do not know about Pumpkin Patch, it is a kids clothing store that sells fantastic and reasonably priced clothing and outerwear for kids. It is located right next to the soft play area at Willow Bend in Plano.)

But, before all of you with totally normal kids stop reading because you’re thinking this blog entry is about gifted children, let me stop you. It’s not. I believe the “rage to master” is actually more common than experts might say – or at least varies by degrees.

And I think every young child has it. Especially my 1 year old, Luke.

What exactly is the “rage to master”? To quote from a quite interesting blog post on the topic from Wandering Ink: “it is the intrinsic motivation of gifted and talented children to master an area of interest; it’s absolutely obsessive in nature, driving the child to focus intensely on that subject matter and voraciously consume new information and skills.”

For those of you who have parented young children, you probably remember these moments of extreme obsession. Periods in a child’s life when they are acquiring new skills and can’t – it seems – waste time on anything that’s not propelling them toward mastery of the challenge. These “rages to mastery” happen around every major milestone: learning to roll over, learning to pull up, learning to crawl, learning to stand.

And, the obsession we’re witnessing right now: learning to walk.

I should have seen this one coming. Luke was an uncommonly happy baby (one of the main reasons we actually think we could handle a third). If presented even the slightest challenge by a toy being out of reach, he would proceed to entertain himself by playing pattycake or staring at a ceiling fan. He was happy to just observe. And with our household of grandparents, parents, 1 big brother, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and various neighbors and friends coming and going, there’s a lot to observe.

With the whirl of constant activity around him providing hours of viewing pleasure, Luke didn’t have the need to move. He was a late crawler, not learning this skill until 11 months. But wow – since then! The whole world has changed. And so has Luke. He quickly progressed to learning to stand, which caused him several late nights and short naps as he practiced and practiced in his crib. And now, a short month later, he is voraciously practicing walking.

Gone is our happy baby who was content to sit and observe. In his place is a determined, one-track-minded toddler who teeters laps around our den/kitchen area until he literally can’t take another step from fatigue. And then, he’s a fussy, discontented toddler who doesn’t understand why when his mind wants him to move, his legs may not cooperate. He’s even more fussy when he gets himself into a corner that he can’t figure a way out of, resembling the Energizer Bunny banging his drum and marching over and over into a wall.

As I watch him, I marvel at his persistence and insatiable desire to master walking.

And I am struck by the parallels in my own life, as a neophyte entrepreneur, with the Rage to Master driving me each day.

The same voracious appetite to master walking in Luke is the same all-consuming desire that I have to realize the vision of Moms Out Loud. I see it in my head, it swirls in my brain, it weaves its way into my dreams and unconscious thoughts making it extremely difficult to focus on anything else. And just like Luke, I find myself at times entirely spent with the overwhelming energy expended on the various aspects of executing against a vision that I feel so compelled to bring to my friends and fellow Moms.

These are the moments when I force myself to stop and remind myself of why I’m doing this business in the first place: to give me more flexibility around moments I can spend with my family, and to build a company that allows my employees – who will, when I’m big enough to hire them – be women or Moms who also want to contribute great things to our world at large….between the hours of 9am – 3pm (or so). And so, I make myself shut down the computer early a couple of days a week, and go home to be with my boys.

And when I do, I spend a little extra time with Luke, assisting in his “Rage to Master” by getting him out of those corners and sending him down a straighter path.