My friends (all of them wives, by the way) and I often joke that we need to hire a wife.  Not to replace ourselves (fully, anyway), but someone to assist in the constant activities and management of busy households.

Well, I’m actually hiring one.  No, I’m not kidding.  I’m extremely serious.  Returning to a “real” job after selling MomsOutLoud.com (my “fake” job of two years – yeah, right!) will require me to shift my focus away from the mundane vastly important jobs of laundry washer, taxi driver, lunch-box packer, and such.  Instead, I will be doing the mundane vastly important jobs of information collector, spreadsheet adder/subtractor, and report printer.  But at least I will be getting paid.  And have other adults to talk to IRL (“in real life”) vs. email, Twitter, Facebook and such.  I am so excited!

So, if you are an experienced household manager, please read on!  Please note:  I could make this a LOT funnier, but because I really do want to hire someone, the rest of this post is serious.  If interested, please email me at rebekah@momsoutloud.com.

Title:  Household COO

Start:  July 26

Job description:

West Plano family of 5 needs domestic help weekdays for ~20 hours/week, between 2 – 6pm daily.  Duties will include a range of household activities, grocery shopping, meal preparation/lunch packing, and picking up kids from pre-school to bring home.  Specifically, the tasks will include –
-  Daily ’straightening’ and light cleaning of house (we have a different housekeeper do main cleaning each week)
-  Managing grocery list and doing grocery/household shopping
-  Laundry washing/folding
-  Evening meal preparation
-  Sack lunch preparation for children
-  Picking up children (ages 5, 3, and 18 mo.) from pre-school at 4:15pm, getting them settled at home with TV/quiet activities
-  Babysitting children until parents arrive home between 5:30-6pm

Requirements:

English speaking (does not need to be 1st language but must be able to communicate well)
Good driving record
Must have reliable vehicle that can fit 2 car seats + 1 booster seat
Loves children
Organized
Ability to multi-task
Likes pets (we have 2 dogs and 2 cats)

Pay: We’re targeting between $12-15/hour depending on experience and maturity

Read the full article based on the research here: Teachers May Be Swayed By Child’s Reputation (http://health.yahoo.com/news/healthday/teachersmaybeswayedbychildsreputation.html).

Do you think I could send them in to Clorox for them to use in a commercial?

Yes, Moms, she is.  And that she is ME.  Read about my self-inflicted pain (and joy!) here.

Baby Kate (now 14 weeks old, pictured at left doing her most hated activity – tummy time!) is my most precious baby.  She had colic early on and, coupled with her bright red hair, she had us worried she was going to be High Maintenance.  But thankfully she’s settled into a sweet baby routine of smiles, giggles, coos, 3 naps per day and even a few full nights of sleep. 

So who are the other 2 babies?  Of course, they are MomsOutLoud.com #1……and (soon to be delivered) MomsOutLoud.com #2. 

MOL #1 was conceived when I left my corporate comfort zone in Feb ‘08.   Roughly 9 months (two development teams, numerous false hopes, and many dollars) later, MomsOutLoud.com #1 as you all know it was launched.  I poured my heart and soul into its creation, and just like any Mom, I have been so proud of it and its growth.  In fact, we just topped several much more established (like years, even decades, more established) local websites on unique visitors in June according to www.compete.com.  [Sorry, even I can't resist a little patting on my own back every once in a while.]

But ever a perfectionist, almost as soon as MomsOutLoud.com launched, we started working on version 2.  I thought I wanted enhancements.  My developers told me I needed a new platform.  So we rebuilt the site.  Everything.  From the bottom up.  During which time I had my “real” baby, Baby Kate.  And the result will go live within the week.  Roughly 9 months from the launch of the first site.

MomsOutLoud.com #2 is uber-cool.  It’s got RSS Feeds (I didn’t know what those were 12 months ago).  It’s got embedded video (I didn’t know what that was, either).  We have a poll.  We have breadcrumb navigation.  We have comment-able articles.   I am giddy.

So, Moms, within a week, expect an extra email from me letting you know that our new site, with all its cool extra features and easier navigation, is live.  In the meantime, MOL #1 will be available…but its little sister will really WOW! you.  

Rebekah Cooksey is the Founder and Chief Executive Mom of MomsOutLoud.com.  She lives in Plano with her husband, 3 children aged 3 through 14 weeks, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and (for the time being) 2 web-sites. 

I had the pleasure of spending time with Sci-Tech Discovery Center Volunteers and one of the Hawaiian Falls‘ “Ambassadors of Fun” on Monday at Maui Moms.

For those of you who haven’t read the MOL newsletter for the past bijillion weeks (no fingers being pointed or anything!) and don’t know about Maui Moms, MomsOutLoud.com and North Texas Kids are partnering with Hawaiian Falls to bring you Maui Moms Club on Mondays throughout the summer.  “Club” is actually a bit of a misnomer…there are no memberships, no papers to sign, no dues.  It’s not even exclusive to anyone (although they only let nice people can get in – just kidding).  

Maui Moms is simply Hawaiian Falls’s way to help Moms who have smaller kids (like me) be able to bring their children out to the park for the morning and get their “money’s worth” of fun before heading home for nap.  So, Moms get in free with the purchase of a Little Kahuna ticket ($13.99).  That’s you and kid into Hawaiian Falls for $13.99.  Even if your kids no longer nap – or your kids are not so little anymore – and you stay until the janitors kick you out that night, it’s $13.99 for both of you.  The ONLY requirements are that you (1) Tell them you are here for Maui Moms as you purchase your ticket to enter, and (2) That you get there between 10 am – 12 noon.

For those of you who have never been inside a Hawaiian Falls (like me, before Monday), it is amazing.  Keiki Cove (pictured here) is a fun climbing, sliding, splashing (even crawling) fun place where even the youngest kids can have a blast.  There is also a wave pool, lazy river, and of course, HUGE water slides that get the older kids screaming with laughter.

And that’s not all!  At Maui Moms, not only do you both get in for $13.99, Hawaiian Falls lso provides fun activities for the kids in addition to the wet, splashy fun they always have.  Some days it’s a craft, others it may be storytelling.  On this particular day, Sci-Tech Discovery Center was on hand with science experiments for the kids. 

Sci-Tech Discovery Center is a non-profit organization with a mission to provide a dynamic, interactive experience that inspires people of all ages and backgrounds to embrace discovery and innovation through the exploration of math, science and technology.  They have been bringing the experiences TO people within Collin County and surrounding areas over the past seven years, first as a task force of the Junior League of Plano and then as a stand alone non-profit.  Soon they will be announcing details on a physical facility that will house this unique and fun center full-time.

On Monday, a great group of volunteers from Sci-Tech were on hand to lead kids through hands-on science experiment.  They had several on hand, which I promise I understood as they were explaining to me, but of course cannot relay again with any sort of coherent explanation.  With one exception – the sunscreen test.

If any of your kids ever give you grief about having to wear sunscreen, just replicate this experiment for them.  Check out this picture.  Sunscreen was absent, applied in SPF 30 and applied in SPF 50 on the three different strings of beads. Can you guess which?

Look at the contrast between the strings that have no sunscreen (darker beads due to no protection against the sun’s rays) versus the lighter beads (due to the sunscreen screening out the harmful rays).  This strong visual of the power of the sun’s rays made me pause (and think that possibly the SPF 15 moisturizer I use every day is not strong enough).  I’ve heard it said recently that SPF 50 is the new SPF 30, and after seeing this, I’m a believer.

The best part about the morning was that I got to meet a few Moms who had not heard of MomsOutLoud.com, share with them the vision for what we’re all about, and watch as their kids experimented with the wonders of science.  Older kids certainly enjoyed the hands-on fun, but even littler children had a great time trying out the different “tests” they could perform with every day objects.  Here’s a couple of bathing beauties testing out how water droplets make colors bleed together (I think their favorite part of the experiment was drawing on the coffee filters!).

Thankfully, I have spared you all from any photos of myself, as I have not had a chance to exercise or get out in the sun very much this summerr (something about getting a website business launched and growing?!?).  But we’ll be back at Maui Moms on the Mondays to come.  When you’re there, be sure to stop by and say hi…and do a fun activity with your kids!!

Thank you especially to Erica, the Ambassador of Fun who made us all so welcome, and Laura Curran, Director of Sci-Tech Discovery Center who organized the volunteers and experiments for all the kids!

Rebekah Cooksey is the Founder and Chief Executive Mom of MomsOutLoud.com.  Photo courtesy of Rachel Logan Photography.

Tell us about your business.
 
I am the franchise owner for USA Martial Arts Leadership Academy in North Frisco (at southeast corner of Teel Parkway and Main Street).  We are in the business of changing kids lives through martial arts. We have a proven track record of improving self-confidence, self- discipline, self- defense, and physical fitness in a fun and educational atmosphere.
 
You are very young to be a business owner.  Tell us about your journey.

I’ve been involved in martial arts for as long as I can remember. When I was four years old, I began my journey into the martial arts world, and I earned my 1st degree Black Belt at age 11.  That’s really when I decided I wanted to own a martial arts studio when I grew up.  So, while living in Dallas, I spent my time outside school training in martial arts and eventually even teaching classes.  

I went to the University of Oklahoma in Norman, Oklahoma and graduated with a degree in Health and Exercise Sport Sciences and Sociology.  The entire time, I planned and saved for opening my own studio.  I had trained for years (since I was 6 years old) with the President of USA Martial Arts & Fitness, James Boecker, so I when I graduated I went to work at the Allen location.  This was great training on the business side of owning a studio, and I got some good lessons on what it takes to run a successful business.  I never dreamed I’d be able to own my own facility so soon, but opportunity came to convert an existing martial arts studio in Frisco to a USA Martial Arts location.

Now, as a second degree Black Belt, I feel I’ve got a tremendous amount of talent and knowledge to share with students.  I’m still studying – training for my third degree Black Belt and I also have a first degree black belt in Traditional Martial Arts Weapons.   

She is excited to opportunity to share her passion for martial arts with students of all ages
 

What was the biggest surprise you have had since getting into this business?
 
The biggest surprise, and the hardest thing as well, is how much I needed to prove myself to the students and most of all the parents.  I had to show the parents that I am a qualified Martial Artist and can run a business as well.  I thought the take over would be easy, and that everyone would embrace me with open arms.  I guess that shows how naive a 22-year old can be!  Taking over this school was the hardest thing I have ever done.  I’ve had to prove myself time and time again that I am qualified and equally if not better prepared than the previous owner.  Being a female in a male dominated industry is an honor, but also a challenge. I feel like I must work harder, be smarter, and run faster than the people around me.  I know that I must work hard everyday because I can lose everything as fast as I have earned it!
 
 
That does sound challenging.  Are the rewards worth it?    

Oh, yes.  The best thing about being a teacher of the Martial Arts is changing lives of my students.  I have had many students who have come to our school that were painfully shy and insecure with themselves.  That is what is great about martial arts because not everything has to be done as a group to succeed – you can go at your own pace.   I have done many martial arts lessons in my office because the child was too scared to come on the mats.   However, once we had the chance to work together, the child felt more comfortable with their surroundings and they were finally able to step foot on the workout floor. It is amazing to see that after time and effort the students become more confident and begin to feel better about themselves. 

What does your typical day look like?

As a small business owner I have the privilege of being the “chief cook and bottle washer”.  I am the first to arrive and the last to leave.  I would not have it any other way.  In the morning I handle all paperwork and business matters.  By early afternoon it is time to be on the mats teaching.  By 9 PM, I am getting ready for the next day.  As much as we are a Martial Arts school — we are a customer service business.  If I do not satisfy my customers — they will go somewhere else.  
 
 

What are your plans for the future of this business?  What goals do you have for it?

Just like all business owners, I want to grow my Academy. I’ve been very fortunate to see enrollment increase every month.  Many business people are always focused on opening that next location; expand into a new community.  Right now I’m just focused on growing at my own location in North Frisco. 

The one “extracurricular” thing I’ve been doing is exploring creating a program for our school to work with underprivileged children. One of the best attributes of our program is the building of self confidence and self worth.  With this power, you are unstoppable, and I would love all children to have access to such a great boost to their self esteem regardless of their economic situation.

What are your big hobbies and interests outside of work?
 
I love spending time with family and friends, but honestly the most fun I have is training for my next black belt!

Anything else you’d like to tell our readers?

Your readers are mostly parents, so I would tell them to encourage their kids if they show a strong interest in something.  I always had the encouragement and support of my parents and this made all the difference to me.  And now I’m 22 years old and living my dream!  I have the privilege of working not only with amazing students but their families as well.  I get to live my dream every day, and that is not something most 22 year olds get to do.  My start all came because my parents believed in me and helped me achieve my goals. 

And in case you haven’t read it, here’s my blog post:  Why I’m Proud to Drive a Mini-Van.

What is Buzzy?

Buzzy^® uses natural pain relief by confusing your body’s own nerves and distracting attention away from the poke, thereby dulling or eliminating sharp pain. In the same way that rubbing a bumped elbow helps stop the hurt, or cool running water soothes a burn, Buzzy^® bypasses sharp pain.

How did you develop this idea?

I was doing needle pain research throughout my pregnancies, and when the kids got old enough to remember I brought creams or distraction toys to lessen the impact of the shots.  Consequently, they were all really good shot takers until one nurse told my oldest out of nowhere “You are going to sit still or this is really going to hurt and we will have to hold you down.”  He did great for the shots but then threw up afterwards and had been needlephobic ever since.  I was so mad at the system and myself for not being able to protect him that I wanted to come up with something that worked instantly that parents could bring and use even if the healthcare system wasn’t interested.

I knew that the body could stop pain naturally using something called “gate theory”. If you bang your knee and rub it the pain stops, if you smash your finger and shake it it helps the pain, or if you burn your finger and stick it under cold running water it quits hurting.  I thought of cuffs of cold water, all sorts of messy stuff.  I got the idea in the car driving home from the hospital one day that vibration would work, but it wasn’t until my husband suggested frozen peas UNDER the vibration that it really made my kids’ hands numb to sharp pokes.  Once I figured out that cold and vibration together near the sharp pain worked, I tried to get a pharmaceutical company interested in the idea.  For a few years I tried, with no luck.  Finally my husband and I agreed to sink the home equity line into the idea and start our own business.  I also invented cards called “Flippits!” that you can pull out and distract during procedures.   They have counting and finding tasks which are proven to decrease pain, and they can even fit in a slot on Buzzy’s tummy to block the view of the procedure if the sight of the sharp is the problem.

What are the best things about this business?  The worst things?

Best is when we get letters from nurses or kids telling us how much Buzzy helped them, or how great it is, or how a kid who hasn’t gone to the doctor for years due to fear of shots now isn’t afraid.  It’s also awesome working with the team of my friends who are helping Buzzy.  We’re all moms, and all have really down to earth “let’s make this work” sensibilities, on top of a desire to be part of something bigger than ourselves and some equanimity about if the business doesn’t take off.   The worst is having a business at all;  I’m still a practicing doctor with a busy research department, and so I don’t have nearly as much time for my family.  I haven’t seen a movie with my husband for three years.  If Buzzy doesn’t take off and help a lot of people, and allow me to have a bit more free time when they’re teenagers, I’ve sacrificed a few years of time with my children that I can’t get back.

What are your future plans for the business?

I’d love to incorporate the Buzzy cold/vibration technology into products that make burns heal faster and with less pain, improve existing products for pain relief, and change the way individuals think about their own pain relief and feel empowered to bring personal pain control devices to the doctor.  Buzzy is reusable, and could save the healthcare system millions that are being spent on creams and products that don’t work so well.  I would like to bring jobs to the US, and when we get too big for our manufacturer in China I’m planning to add our own plant here making Buzzies and other products.  Ultimately what gives me the most pleasure, actually, is designing a research study, so it would be great if the other women could run the company while I consult on pain management and design more studies to research exactly what happens and how to maximize pain relief.

What does your typical day look like?

In emergency medicine there IS no typical day!  Last week I would wake up at 0530, write on papers and an NIH grant report from our second pediatric Buzzy trial, then go to work to supervise two summer research interns.  Friday and Saturday I did this plus I had shifts in the emergency department, today I meant to wake up early but slept late and am now working 10-3 answering emails, tomorrow I will wake up early to write and deal with the manufacturers, then I have an emergency shift 2P-11P, Tuesday I fly to Philly for a board meeting, back on Wednesday…. there is no typical day!

Tell us about your family and yourself.

Delightfully married, three kids 11, 9, and 7.    Right now work is my hobby.  When I have time again, I’ll read science fiction, do crafts with my daughter, cook Thai food, drink more pale ales, and garden.  I still do the latter two some, I’ll just do them more.

Anything else you’d like to share with MomsOutLoud.com?

“Everyone is fighting a hard battle.  
 Do justice, and be kind.  
Guilt is rarely helpful.  
Shared joy is increased, shared sorrow lessened.
Avoid making irrevocable decisions when tired or hungry.”

The subject of beauty has come up a lot in my world in the past few days.

Maybe it’s because my 20th high school reunion is looming on the horizon.  Maybe it’s because I am heavier than I’ve ever been in my life (excluding pregnancies).  Maybe it’s because I finally admitted to my super-wonderful-amazing husband that my sex drive is at an all-time low because I just don’t feel attractive (sorry if that is TMI for anyone). 

And then today, I “read” two articles. 

Side note:  I use quotation marks around “read” because what Mom actually “reads” anything?  Who has time?  My own “reading” occurs in one of 2 places — either the first 2 mins on the potty (a word that rolls off the tongue so easily now after 3 kids), before someone comes to find me, OR online at night when I’m desparately trying to catch up on work and I allow myself the simple luxury of following a Twitter or Facebook link to places unknown.  My “reading” is a series of fragmented snippets, pieced together within the context of my own life, creating an impression that lasts for just moments until the next distraction.

The first article was a link I followed to D Magazine’s (That’s Big D for those of you don’t live in Dallas) contest for the Ten Most Beautiful Women in Dallas.  And I was disgusted – not surprised, but disgusted.  Not by the women themselves….I am actually quite amazed that they can keep themselves in such amazing shape, in such amazing “polished” condition.  The less attractive part is that this is what sells magazines.  Yes, the women are beautiful.  Really amazingly beautiful.  An illustration of the societal idealism of thin, blonde, smooth, and sparkling.   And you can vote for them right there – their perfect teeth and perfect smiles beckoning “pick me!”, “pick me!”.  A resounding applause for society’s infatuation with the perfectly beautiful.

And then (thankfully) I read the second article in Real Simple, where they asked famous authors to write about “What Makes Me Feel Beautiful.”  (You will not be surprised as to why I subscribe to Real Simple, vs. stumbling upon D Magazine when you read what follows.)  The essay that hit a chord within me was written by Kathryn Harrison (the coincidence that my 4 month old daughter is named Katherine just struck me as I type this), the author of 12 books, none of which I’ve heard of (which doesn’t mean anything since I am culturally-challenged).  Kathryn says that “spending time with my kids” makes her feel beautiful, and describes the first time she felt beautiful as:

“The first time it happens, we’re out walking….we’re still at the stage when taking a shower feels like an accomplishment…Still, I feel — for the first time in my life — really, truly, beautiful.  It has taken three children to deliver me to this state, this symmetry of boy on my left, girl on my right, baby on my breast.”

Read the full essay on Real Simple’s website: www.RealSimple.com, specific article at:  What Makes Me Feel Beautiful.

This essay (which took 3 trips to the ‘potty’ to finish), so accurately describes how I feel.  Not that I had similar childhood baggage to get over – in fact, I am the youngest of seven….a large family because my mom “just can’t get enough of babies”.  (She is helping us raise our children now, now that her own children are grown.).  Nor that I didn’t feel exceptionally beautiful at my wedding (I was on a beach in Hawaii, for goodness sake, how could I not have?). 

But the fact is, I feel my most beautiful when I am on the floor wrestling with my boys while my baby girl sits safely in her swing.  Or when I am pushing Kate in the stroller while her two brothers “help”.  Or when I’m driving all three kids around in the mini-van, utilizing that third row seat and at least 8 of its cup-holders.

This is when I glow.

So, thank you, Kathryn Harrison, for describing more eloquently than I ever could how beautiful being a Mom really feels.  When I feel chubby, jiggly, and baggy-eyed, your essay reminds me that all I need to do is grab my kids in a big bear-hug and I will feel beautiful again.

If you like this article, please email the link to your friends and tell them about www.MomsOutLoud.com!  We’ve always got some Mom story to share.

Rebekah Cooksey is a married mom of 3 kids aged 3 yrs and under who lives in Plano, TX.  She is the Founder and Chief Executive Mom of Moms Out Loud, and believes every Mom is beautiful.  You can reach her at rebekah@momsoutloud.com.