Oh Yeah, the To Do List Includes Being a Dad, Too

by Brad Dobson

Saturday morning is usually the time I make a list of stuff to get done on the weekend. Mow lawn, fix broken toilet, get exercise, get a haircut, catch up on assorted other things that piled up during the work week, you know the drill.  I’m not the A-type who can get it all done during the week.  I usually make it through about half and then succumb to the black hole that is weekend sports programming. This weekend started no differently but the effort was derailed immediately by my family, who wanted to play.

I spend much of my life struggling with all the things I have to get done (David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” worked for awhile, but I failed to make it a habit) and keeping healthy (diets and exercise programs come and go, but those too fail to become habits). Sometimes that struggle is overwhelming, other times I use it as an excuse to avoid being there for my family. I’m also a great dad and husband juggling many responsibilities who is too hard on himself sometimes!

So, ignoring the big list behind Door #1 (to-do’s), I chose Door #2 (play). I ran 2.5 miles with my 10 year old boy – I’ve been a runner forever and I am genuinely bursting with pride to see my kids run. Conner will never be a cheetah but I think he has the same stamina that got me through 2 marathons. Then, off the family went to see the new Star Trek movie and Maggie asks why Spock makes that weird sign with his fingers. It’s funny to think the kids know Star Wars but don’t really know Star Trek: is that my bad? Finally we ended up at Blue Goose for an early Mother’s Day dinner. All in all it was general merriment and downtime.

What of the list?  It was still there on Sunday and some of it will roll over to next weekend.  What of the struggle?  Still there too.  What of the memories of a fun day?  They will be with me much longer than the list.  As the saying goes, you must be present to win. I love my Dad, but he is 3000 miles away and none of this is stuff he modeled for me, not because he wasn’t a great dad; rather, because my life growing up was radically different that the one I’m living now.  I’m still learning how to live my life with children and maybe I’ll have it figured out by the time they’re grown up. In the meantime, back to the list…

Brad Dobson is a software engineer and does all the web work for North Texas Kids (because he’s married to the publisher). He’s the father of two kids, a buddhist, a parrothead, a musician and a runner. He’s always open to really nice comments, ideas for other articles for Dads, or offers of web work at bdobson@northtexaskids.com.