Holding It Together – With Baling Wire and String

I’ve been asked a lot lately how I’m holding it all together.  After all, with a 7-week old, two pre-schoolers, and a fledgling business, there is a lot going on. 

The answer I’ve given has been a cursory, “well, you know we’re all busy.”  I wasn’t trying to be flippant, but honestly, I hadn’t stopped to reflect on how, in fact, I am holding it together (or even to revel in the fact that it’s not all fallen apart yet).  But as I loaded a trash bag with dirty laundry to take with us on vacation to do when we arrived, I laughed so hard that it forced me to pause and think of the crazy things I had done just over the last seven days to keep the household and a new business moving.  Here’s what I figured out.

Over the last seven days, I have:

• Nursed a baby across my lap while leaning over her to to enter calendar events into the MomsOutLoud.com calendar.

• Ditto with a bottle.

• Kept my arms crossed during two entire business meetings because my blouse had an embarrassingly large wet spot from breast milk leakage.  These were NOT on the same day.

• Sat in a pre-school library on a toddler stool at a toddler table working on a MomsOutLoud.com article while waiting for a class party to start.  I am 6′1″.

• Pumped in the office of North Texas Kids founder, Minette Riordan – which still, remarkably, has a glider.  Hid the milk in the back of the office refrigerator so as to not make anyone uncomfortable.  (Yes, I know…now I’m writing about it, so I’m not really that sensitive.)

• Parked my car outside a Starbucks to Skype with web developers in Romania while sitting in the driver’s seat.  Moved to an outside table to continue when my wireless signal failed.  I wore my super-heavy-duty headphones with mouthpiece to do so.  Yes, these are pretty scary.

• Took advantage of my mom’s offer to watch the kids one evening (after they were all in bed, of course – who would want to single-handedly put 3 kids of this age in bed?!) so my husband and I could have a date night.  It lasted approximately one hour and 15 minutes – enough time to go to a restaurant and have an uninterrupted meal, and decide we were both too tired to run to Target to pick up needed household items.

We all have our stories like these of how we are coping with the demands on us as mothers, wives, friends, sisters, and employees (or business owners).  And we all do it, day after day.  Each of us has times where we wonder why we’re doing it all and wonder if we should let more things slide.  Whether you are a stay at home Mom, a working Mom, or whatever – the fact is you’re a Mom and a woman, so that means you probably take on too much.

For me personally, when I get the running hugs from my boys as I walk in the door from a day of work, or I get my baby’s first smile (just happened – three days ago exactly!)….it makes being the involved – but working outside the home – Mom worth it.  There are, in fact, innumerable little reinforcements throughout each day that fuel me on with my husband and my kids and make me get out of bed each morning (er – most mornings) with a big smile.

And on the business side, there are reinforcements there, too.  For example, I was able to see one of the goals of starting this web community realized last week, and it gave me a huge warm & fuzzy.  One of the businesses we work with is planning to open a new location soon and was questioning the best specific site within a part of DFW.  So I created a quick survey (one question) and sent to six friends in that area with kids of that age who would utilize the business to ask them for their opinion.  I asked them to pass it on to other Moms they knew who lived in that area and were of that same life stage to get their opinions.  The result:  Within 48 hours, 65 Moms had answered the survey.  These Moms got to give input on a service to make it more useful to them, and our business partner got invaluable input on a major decision.  Win, win!  And being able to make those connections to help made me feel great – and fueled me again.

If you are reading this article, you are doing so because the title of it struck a chord with you.  My only advice – when you do something crazy enough that it makes you laugh out loud (like taking dirty laundry with you on vacation), take the moment to have your belly laugh and then reflect on all the crazy things you’re doing to hold it together.  Chances are, you’ll laugh some more, and realize that as a Mom, you really do have the most challenging – and rewarding – job on the planet.

Rebekah Cooksey is the Founder and Chief Executive Mom of MomsOutLoud.com.  She is a married Mom of three and lives in Plano.  Right now, she is visiting her sister in Houston, probably doing a second load of laundry while six cousins play in the backyard.