“Fat Chants” – Your Online Friend in the Quest for Bathing Suit Confidence

It’s time to shed the fluff and release the thin, trim, hot-lookin’ mama who’s been kidnapped by a size-18 frame (no doubt being held for a cheesecake ransom). This is my mission. This is my journey. May the Fat Chants bring about a new chance … at a better, brighter life.

Fat Chants: One Is the Loneliest Number

Well, I’m stumped. S-T-U-M-P-E-D. Stumped. I had visions of participation greatness when last we met and I announced the “A Better Mom Bod By Summer? Fat Chants,” walking challenge. But, sadly, here I sit, two weeks later, bedecked in my athletic shoes and fancy shmancy pedometer and no support crew in sight.

This harkens back to my younger days as the four-eyed thick chick never picked to play kickball during recess. Sigh.

But, it’s OK. I’ll wipe away the solitary tear streaming down my chubby cheek and soldier on. Alone (did I mention there was an iPod involved?). All alone (and an iTunes gift card?).

OK, pity party’s over (although revised details are posted below should you change your mind). Now, on to the goodness that is swapping fat-blasting secrets. Here’s a quick pot-luck of some of my personal favs:

• Take baby bites. I’ve found that no matter what creamy treat you’re munching on (I’m a fan of the 32-cent vanilla yogurt from Wal-Mart), if you eat it with a tot-sized utensil, you’re forced to savor each little bite, rather than devour the snack in two huge gulps.
• Be bowled over. Yummy food dished up in a leftover kiddie bowl makes your serving size look large and in charge, which tricks your brain into thinking there’s waaay more to munch than meets the eye.
•  Chew the (non) fat. If you’re a grazer (guilty!), you need to find a way to keep the oral fixation at bay without over indulging. I keep super-strong mint gum stashed anywhere and everywhere so that when I start foaming at the mouth for some fantabulous vending-machine confection, I can pop a piece and make my mouth happy without doing (more) damage to my inflated waistline.
• Get on the ball . Ya’ know that big o’ exercise ball taking up a huge chunk of floor space? Make it your new desk chair. I’ve been saying for weeks that I was gonna’ haul mine up to the office, but it never fails … my memory stick kicks in when I’m flying down George Bush. I have, however, done the ol’ swap at home. I’m happily engaging my core as I write, which my lil’ trainer guy says is imperative for good posture, which leads to good workout technique, etc., etc., etc. (Not to mention that instant 5-pound weight loss you snag when you suck it in and stand up straight. Niiiice!).
• Create a diversion. I’ve found that when I take on a new hobby (um, obsession) just as I’m recommitting to my hot mama mission, it’s easier to stick to my guns because I’m not so focused on food (or lack thereof). Basket weaving, anyone?
• Embrace the fat days. It may seem crazy, but you know those pants that strain at the seams? Wear them! On the days I don my snugger-fitting duds, I’m desperately more aware of how good they used to look, which helps to remind me to back away from the cookie basket and hit the gym. Caveat: It’s critical to balance the blah with a shablam, gotta’ keep those good feelin’ endorphins coursing through the veins.
• Channel your inner thick chick. And kick her rear! Whatever exercises you did in PE (jump rope, sit ups, push ups, jumping jacks, lunges, squats, suicides), do them, do them, do them. I took a boot camp class for 12 weeks last summer and I swear it was like being in 8^th grade again … only this time I dropped some serious inches and found muscles I never knew I had. Bonus? No equipment required and it’s super-easy to incorporate the kiddos. Sweat time, plus mommy-and-me time, what could be better than that?

(Revised) “A Better Mom Bod By Summer? Fat Chants” Details:

OK, I dished my good stuff. Now, it’s your turn. Shoot me a message (tessafalk1004@yahoo.com) with your tried and true diet tips and you’ll be entered to win an iPod Shuffle and iTunes gift card. Please include your full name, number of kiddos and mailing address in your e-mail. I’ll compile the best of the best and share them in my next Fat Chants post, along with the name of the Better Mom Bod winner.  Remember ladies, one IS the loneliest number and I don’t want to be lonely any longer. 

The chanting continues here on MomsOutLoud.com, every other Wednesday through May. For more Fat Chants, visit www.fat-chants.blogspot.com.