How Many Diapers A Day?

I love going to the Baby Aisle at Target. You know the Baby Aisle – the one with diapers down the entire 40′ section on one side, and baby food/formula/wipes/bath wash/lotion on the other side. I know it well, as it is probably my most-visited area of the store, aside from the milk section. Anyway, while I hate to go to the Baby Aisle for the ringing of the “cha ching” in my ears (Enfamil Gentlease Formula – $25.69, Pampers Cruisers Size 3 – $28.99, Pampers Baby Dry Size 5 – $26.49, Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo – $7.99), a different part of me loves going there because invariably I meet someone new who either has a cute baby or clearly Needs Advice (which I love to give).

On a recent day, I saw a stunningly beautiful woman there who was obviously in the Needs Advice category.

She was dressed in a beautiful taupe suit, high heels, thin, with her long black hair worn down. She held one of those wireless scanner devices in her hand and I was struck by how out of place she looked; after all, its been a long time since I’ve seen a woman without a ponytail or hat, rumpled clothes, and “sensible” shoes in the Baby Aisle. Then she turned to the side and I understood. She was an expectant mom, with a cute little basketball tummy. And she was very clearly confused and frustrated as she stared at the wall of diapers.

After I got over the shock that someone pregnant would wear (or be able to wear) those high of heels, buy a suit that looked that nice (I lived in stretchy black pants and stretchy tops), and look that good (my hands and ankles resembled sausages from about month 4 onwards in both my pregnancies), I thought maybe I could help.

So I struck up a conversation.

Me: When are you due?

Her: In September.

Me: Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?

Her: It’s a boy.

Me: Oh! I have two boys. They are wonderful! You will love it!!

Her: (Looking a little like she doesn’t believe me) Can I ask you a question?

Me: Sure! (Yes, I do generally talk with exclamation points, so I’m not exaggerating. Plus, I love giving advice. Why else would I have a blog and be starting a web-site that’s based on reviews?)

Her: Well, I’m trying to do my registry. How many diapers do you think I need?

Me: (I’m thinking….Yes, she really does Need Advice, but then I remembered I hadn’t even contemplated diapers until the week before my due date with my first baby, so I was cheering her for her planning ahead. What I told her was:…) Oh, you’re going to need a lot of diapers, so you shouldn’t worry about registering for too many, as long as you’ve registered for other stuff you need as well.

Her: How many will I need?

Me: (I blink. Hard. And gulp.) Well, you’ll need a lot.

Her: (She’s starting to look at me with a wild-eyed expression.) How many is a lot?

Me: (I am feeling a little uncomfortable now. I’m not used to gorgeous, pregnant women with impossibly glossy hair looking at me with such wild eyes. So I do what I do every time I get nervous: talk. A lot.) Well, if you assume you’re going to feed the baby every 2-3 hours, and each one of those will probably need a diaper change, that’s 10 – 12 diapers/day. But then, especially with boys, you have the occasional accidents while you’re changing a diaper, so you may need more than that. So easily you’ll go through almost a hundred a week.

At that, I thought she was going to drop the scanning device right there on the floor along with her bottom lip.

I think this was the first time she had done the math on diapers. She didn’t say a word, just turned on her heel and walked off.

I wish I could have had a chance to tell her:

Yes, that’s a lot of diapers. But really, it’s not a big deal. And I had never changed a diaper in my life before Jack, so I even say that with no prior experience. Plus, the great thing about changing diapers is you get to kiss your baby! You get to tickle and cuddle and kiss his belly button and love on them. So, you’ll love changing diapers - or, at least you’ll love it after the meconium passes.

But then, if she was that surprised about the number of diapers she’d be changing each day, I’m sure she wasn’t aware of meconium, nor the future surprises of how a baby’s poop changes so dramatically based on breast milk vs. formula, so it was probably a good thing she walked away at that point. I just hoped she’d look up a few more things in “What to Expect: Baby’s First Year” when she got home.

Or, maybe, put it on her baby registry.

By the way, if you are in the Needs Advice category, or just want to see what’s new in baby gear, check out my entry: Having a Baby? The 5 Things You Need in the Hospital, and the 36 Things You Need when you Get Home.