Ask Why 5 HUNDRED Times

When I started in consulting . . .

(for a top-tier-strategy-consulting-firm-that-will-remain-nameless), one of the first things they taught us was to “Ask Why 5 Times”. This, they taught us, is the key to getting to the REAL answer, to the root cause. And it does work. Take this illustration:

“Our profits are declining.” Why? “Well, revenue growth has slowed.” Why? “Some of our customers are switching to a competitor.” Why? “That competitor recently launched a new product that saves them money.” Why? “It has xyz features that our products don’t have.”

ANSWER: You need to develop/buy/merge with a company/whatever to provide a competitive product that saves customers even more money.

OK – this sounds like an easy example, but really, consultants get paid millions of dollars for studies that do just this. (You know who you are!)

Toddlers take this to an extreme.

My 32 month old is a broken “why” record. He asks why all the time, when it makes sense and when it doesn’t make sense. Here’s an example:

Me: Honey, let’s get your crocs on. Him: Why?

Me: So we can go to the playground (or store, or school, or Grandma’s). Him: Why?

Me: So we can have fun. Him: Why?

Me: Because we like to have fun. Him: Why?

Me: Because having fun is makes us happy. Him: Why?

That’s about the time I hope for some divine or other type of intervention because explaining why having a good time makes us happy is beyond my vocabulary.

My favorites are when he asks for something, we give it to him, and then he asks why. Example:

Him: Mommy, can I have some milk, please? [OK, maybe I added in the please for effect, but I do try to remind him.]

Me: Sure, honey. Him: Why?

Me: Because you asked for it.

I never thought I’d be telling my kid “because YOU said so” but this is getting pretty close.

And even though it tries my patience, and I get frustrated with the endless questioning of every detail, when I feel myself hurrying through the answers, I try to make myself stop and think about his world. Everything is so new to him, and the endless “whys” are helping him sort through his world. And if I’m not here to help him sort through his world, who is?

So I slow down, and try to answer his questions. To really answer his questions. Instead of “because”, I spend the time to answer.

I say: Honey, you asked for the milk. And Mommy is glad to give it to you because it is a good thing to drink; it will help you grow big and strong. Anytime you want milk, you can have it.

And I think: Anytime you want to ask why, you ask it.